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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Grab Your Man by the Stars!

I've been interested in astrology since my early teens, so it's not often I find something unique, interested and informative anymore! "Erotic Astrology: about him, for her..." by Olivia is easy to read and understand for beginners, but held a wealth of insight for astro-junkies like me.

The introduction is short and sweet, but sure to point out how complex astrological charts are, and how to determine which signs are likely to affect your lover's personality. Each chapter profiles one of the twelve astrological signs through a series of sensual and practical elements.

Starting off with a list of magical correspondences, each chapter lists the planets, gender, element, drive, colour, flower, scent, gem, metal and herbs. Getting into the more detailed sections, each chapters details the sign's turn ons, turn offs, likelihood for monogamy and what it takes to seduce him. Olivia goes on to describe his favourite colours, his faults, his temper, attitudes with children and his home life.

Each chapter will tell you in great detail how to dress for your lover and prepare a romantic evening, including succulent recipes to cook up a steamy date, along with a description of his most sensitive areas and his ideal romantic getaway.

In the final section of the profiles, Olivia describes the perfect sexual experiences from beginning to end in wondrous detail!

Whether or not you have a strong belief in astrology, if nothing else this book will give you some great new ideas for seducing your lover. If, like me, you find the art of astrology fascinating, you will be excited to get started right away, trying out these tips and tricks for seduction on your favourite friends! ;)

product picture
Book by Olivia
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Victoria House Press
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Ask Bex and Get Sex Savvy!

Welcome to Get Sex Savvy! This is a place where you can turn for advice about your sexual fears, kinks and compulsions. If you have a burning questions and crave answers, send an email to bexvankoot@gmail.com for all the info you need to Get Sex Savvy!

Monday, October 4, 2010

October is Your Month for Better Sex!

With the kick-off of YourTango's "31 Day Better Sex Life Challenge", it's time to take a good look at our love lives and make some change for the better!

A panel of sex and relationship experts have come up with helpful daily challenges and three daily "action steps" to work towards better sex. Topics to be covered include:

• how to keep your sex life alive when you have kids
• how to plan for intimacy instead of waiting for it to spontaneously occur
• how you can reap the deeper health and beauty benefits of sex
• how to help your guy if he struggles with sexual dysfunction
• tips for creating a sexy new you
• how to get your partner in the mood

Day One gets us started with a bit of work defining our goals. The action steps for day one are to commit to the challenge, make a list of the three areas most in need of work and change, and to keep in mind the goal of extending the challenge beyond October by leaving reminders and hints (on calenders, in journals, on sticky notes on the fridge!) of all the new things we learn along the way!

So, without further adieu, here is my list of three things I want to work on improving in my primary sexual relationship!

1. Frequency: this is directly related to my own level of desire and how comfortable I feel initiating sex.

2. Kink: I want to spend more of our sexy time exploring our kinks and playing with our toys. Powerplay is a big turn on for me and we rarely take the time to plan and execute this kind of complex scene.

3. Communication: We both struggle, but my husband especially, with being able to communicate effectively before or during sex. It is important for me to know what he wants and how he wants it!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Precise Pinching Pleasure and Pain!

I absolutely love nipple play - they are incredibly sensitive and enjoy a great range of sensation. I can and often do orgasm from nipple stimulation alone, so I was incredibly eager to play with these gorgeous vibrating weighted clamps.

product picture
Nipple clamps by California Exotic
Material: Plastic / Metal
Safety:
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:

These clamps are great for any masochist. If you are pushing against your pain limits with wooden clothespins, you will likely want to avoid these beauties. When they are clamped tight, they are TIGHT! The clamps themselves are a good size and covered in a slick black plastic case. The plastic sticks a wee bit, but makes for a nice cushion between your skin and hard metal. Luckily, the plastic protects the nipples from the metal really digging in, so you don't have to worry about breaking the skin, but they do slide off easily to reveal sharp teeth if you really want the clamps to grip (and possibly draw blood).

The clips can be a bit trick to get on and both hands are very necessary. Be sure to fit the clamps to the nipples to make sure they are tight enough. Once they are on, the adjustable screw can be turned to make them tighter. If they are not tight enough, they may slip off with the weight of the bullets or any tugging on the cords.

The adjustable screws are easy to grasp and turn. I have had my pair for several years now with no deterioration or seizing. They open the clamps up nice and wide, making them useful on the labia as well. Be sure to tighten the clamps as tight as possible, because the heavy bullets attached will pull the slick plastic clamps off if they aren't secure, especially if you are using a lubricant.

The vibrating bullets are weighty and you don't want to underestimate how much this adds to the sensation. The weights hang perfectly if the wearer is upright, but I always found that if I was on my back, they would skew at weird angles and quickly disengage, no matter how tight they were attached. They are definitely easiest to use when standing, kneeling or on all fours and will usually stay attached during all but the most vigorous movement. The bullets will stay put in just about any condition where they can hang, if they are tight enough - they can even withstand some light pulling and twisting.

The vibration from the two bullets is not overwhelming but is somewhat variable, with a multi-speed control that takes you from a light tickle to a low rumble in just a few seconds. The cords can get in the way if you're not careful with them, especially if ropes or chains are also involved. Each bullet is connected to the remote securely with its own cord.

We have had no trouble with the wiring, but you probably shouldn't pull your bottom around by the cords - it isn't a leash or a harness, after all. A light tug is fine, and we have even had some interesting fun hanging the remote above my head or around my back and using the clamps to tug the breasts in a different direction. Bring along some bondage tape so you can attached the remote to your bottom, just out of their reach! The remote and bullets are battery operated with 2 AAs (the cover slips easily off the back of the remote) with a very long shelf life. In four years I think I've changed them twice!

Remember that removing the clamps is often the most painful part of the experience - you can open them slowly with the screw or open them quickly with the clamp. If they aren't too tight, you can also just give them a hard, quick tug and pull them right off (though I wouldn't recommend doing this without the plastic covers - the bare metal teeth will definitely tear the sensitive skin).

Any way they come off, they will leave you with that gorgeous, throbbing sensation for quite some time to come. I general am not able to put the clamps back on after having them removed, so one more time I will say, be SURE they are really tight. If they fall off during heavy play, it will be much more painful getting them back on again!

Overall I do very much enjoy these clamps, even if they can be a bit clumsy and awkward. The mix of precise pinching pleasure and pain is exactly what I love when I'm all bound up, and they give my partners a chance to do something else with their hands!

Vibrating nipple clamps - Nipple clamps - EdenFantasys

Monday, August 16, 2010

Ride 'Em Cowgirl!

The EZ Rider was not by far the first toy I've tamed, but it represented a whole new stage in my life. I was 24 years old and had just gone through a horrendous breakup with the (still married) man I lost my virginity to 3 years before - yes, I was that girl. I had found a whole new level of sex and sensation, one that allowed for a wide variety of movement, depth and hands-free penetration; I wanted to continue enjoying this range of sensation now that I was solely responsible for my sex life.  I bought the EZ Rider Ball from my local Stag Shop, along with a nice big dong and, excited to give them a try, headed straight home!

product picture
Plug by Doc Johnson
Material: Rubber
Safety:

The smooth, "flesh-toned" rubber ball was a bit smaller than I had imagined, about 12" in diameter or the size of the space between my knees when I stand or kneel. The plug pops out to make blowing the ball up easy, just like on a standard beach ball, and it requires a bit of pressure or bite to open the airway. This feature is handy, because the ball doesn't lose too much air when you stop to plug it back up. Once full, the stopper pops back into place to make for a smooth surface. The bright orange plug that attaches the Vac-U-Loc dong to the ball is simple to insert (but definitely easier to do BEFORE the ball has been completely blown up!) and once inserted, you can choose any Vac-U-Loc product to slide on.

Vac-U-Loc dongs all slip easily on to their patented plug, even without the provided powder. There is a wide selection of Vac-U-Loc dildos and dongs available in all different sizes and designs. My choice of the standard 9" rubber dong was easy to use, very filling and due to its size, even useful for g-spot stimulation! The dong is lightly textured and this is easy to feel while using the toy. It had a significant length and girth to it and with the ball, it was easy to customize my position to fit the kind of penetration I wanted. It is definitely large enough that I don't always want to be penetrated to the hilt, but the texture is always an added pleasure and the girth makes it great for stimulating my g-spot.

The ball is, of course, perfect for the cowgirl position, bouncing around on top. If you are like me and not incredibly flexible or coordinated, you will want to be somewhere that you can hold on to something sturdy for support. I've always been partial to chains hanging from the ceiling, but a well-built stool, cushion or headboard works just as well. Keep in mind that in this position you will feel the full length of your dildo, so if you buy a big one, you will likely only enjoy this position at certain times in your cycle or if you prefer very deep penetration.


After saddling up, I assessed the weight capacity of the little ball. At the time I weighed around 275 pounds and while the ball was too small to bounce around on top of like the exercise balls I was used to, it definitely supported me without any trouble and riding it doggy style definitely provided a bit of a work out! The dong was simple to insert and after experimenting with several possible positions, I found my favourite was doggy-style, with the ball held between my feet, ankles or calves. From this angle I could easily control depth and speed and get really into the fantasy experience! Using this toy can be as easy or as difficult as you want to make it, depending on your preference of depth and speed. In this position, I got a great burn in my thighs from pumping back and forth.

In addition to these two typical uses, the toy can be used in a number of variations of traditional positions, especially if the ball is placed between your body and a wall or other weight-bearing structure. You can easily pin the ball with your feet or even a couple of pillows and grind up against it in the missionary position. The ball is fairly light-weight - just a bit heavier than a beach ball - but with a little creativity can be held or weighed down without having to be on top of it. You will have to find some way to keep it still if you want to get the full experience from this toy and realize its full thrusting range.

I used the sample lube from the toy store my first go round, a slick silicone-base which worked well with the rubber dong. It was easy to use and to clean up afterward with a bit of warm soapy water! Rubber, of course, should not be boiled and should be used with condoms, especially for sharing. After clean up, the ball is easy to deflate by pinching the airway and giving a bit of a squeeze. Deflated, it folds up the size of a napkin and can be easily and inconspicuously stored!

The best part of my experience with this toy, however, was the introduction to the Vac-U-Loc system and toys. The dong I purchased is great to use alone, having a space to insert fingers to help control thrusting. Years later, my husband and I used an extra orange plug to finish off a homemade fucking machine, making it a Vac-U-Loc fucking machine compatible with my dong and any number of the growing collection!

Whether you are a total beginner or an experienced rider, you are bound to have a great time bouncing around in this saddle - easy to use, clean and store; affordable even on a budget; customizable with dozens of different Vac-U-Loc toys and full of possibilities for solo or partnered experimentation! Let this big boy take you for a ride!

Easily inflatable ball with a vac-u-lock plug on it.One sided plug for harness attachments with snaps.Realistic thick-veined penis with vac-u-loc attachment
7 inch realistic beige cock with balls vac-u-lock attachment.CyberSilicone dildo compatible with Powerlock harness systemHarness with Penis, vaginal, and anal attachments.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Learning to squirt is truly Njoyable!

After my first few experiences with squirting, which came quickly and to my great surprise, I decided that what I really wanted was to learn how to squirt all by myself.

I went down to my local "female-friendly" sex toy store and spoke to the very knowledgeable woman there, who gave rave reviews about the Njoy stainless steel Pure wand, so I decided to make the investment and brought one home with me.

I'll admit, I was a little nervous using the wand for the first time. I didn't expect it to be so heavy and the metal is also a bit cold. I definitely recommend running it under lukewarm water for a few minutes before getting started. The wand felt seriously solid in my hands and I wasn't entirely sure how to use it..... until I did.

Once you're ready to go, you are in for a serious treat! Use a bit of lube and go slowly. You'll notice right away that once inserted, the Pure wand is the perfect shape to rest comfortable on the pelvic bone. The large ball sits gently up against the G-spot and with the simplest, easiest of rocking motions and almost no effort on my part, I could feel the pressure building within a few seconds! Go slowly and don't strain trying to move the wand around too much. Simply rock it back and forth gently with your hand on the smaller ball that sits on your pelvis and wait.

I was able to ejaculate all on my own the very first time I tried this wand.... and every time since! I've also discovered that the smaller end is great for anal play - my male partners swear by its prostate-stimulating powers!

Don't be intimidated by its size and weight, but don't let a careless partner get carried away with it either - this is not a toy for rough insertion and clumsy players. Use lots of lube, be sure to warm it up and let your partner guide your movements.

It's clean metal look makes it perfect for BDSM medical scenes and with the gorgeous satin-lined box it comes on, you might be temped to leave it out on display! The Njoy wand is safe, beautiful, easy to clean, hypoallergenic, multi-purpose and it will probably outlast you! Buy one today and you'll be a squirter in no time!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

World of Webcam

I am a live webcam model. You may have a lot of different ideas about what this actually means for me, so let me set the record straight.

I wasn't abused as a child, I am sexually responsible with my health and emotions and those of my partners. I am in a committed, long-term relationship and my husband is not only aware but very supportive of my work. When I was younger, I would cam2cam with men for free, because I was horny and curious and the internet was this wonderful, new and amazing thing. I still cam because I'm horny and curious, because it's fun - but if you can do something fun and get paid for it, why not?

I work from home (it's awesome!) and camming is not my sole source of income - I am also a freelance admin professional and writer. Sometimes I have my own office with a desk and a couch and proper seating too. Sometimes my computer is perched on a shelf at the foot of my bed and I spend most of my day lounging. Because we are entrepreneurs, my partner and I enjoy quite a bit of travel and don't mind relocating just for the fun of it. We can go anywhere the internet can take us!

I don't usually "troll", a term that can be confusing because it is also used to refer to folks, like the legendary trolls of fairy tales, who enjoy sitting around waiting for newbies to traipse on by and then pounce on them like big, hairy jerks. The term in the adult industry actually refers to the fishing term, trolling - as in, dropping my line and sailing on by, waiting for a bite.

Sometimes webcam and phonesex artists (I used to do phonesex in college, so this isn't my first foray into the adult industry) will hang out in free chat rooms, trying to convince guys to pay for a private show. I find that I make more money working for prepaid bulk time websites and advertising myself on craigslist and other such venues.

I do own quite a bit of lingerie, or at least my collection is beginning to grow. I don't own enough shoes, yet and that's something I'm working on. I have a nice collection of toys that I am also expanding, including a home-built fucking machine that the guys just love. I'll post more on that beauty later.

All in all, I love what I do. Sometimes guys will try to make me feel guilty or slutty because of my choice, but those are usually the guys who can't afford my time. I don't let it get to me and if it ever does, I have a very supportive partner to help me deal.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

If I Were A Boy

I just heard this Beyonce song for the very first time. "If I were a boy even just for a day,
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls. I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it 'cause they stick up for me."

I just have to say that my feelings go out to any women out there who feel that their gender somehow prevents them from wearing whatever they want and drinking what they want and flirting with other women and having genuine, trustworthy friends.

But being a woman who does what she wants, wears what she wants, drinks what she wants, fucks who she wants and chills with who she wants.... well, I'm having a hard time believing it. Blaming womanhood for keeping you down is being a sexist, as far as I'm concerned.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Astrological DNA

I'm a big fan of astrology - it is an incredibly intricate art and science with emerging relevance in science as well as pop culture. The idea is that DNA responds to light - the kinds of light in an environment deeply affect the way cells develop in response to their DNA.

If we know this, then can we not assume that the variance of starfall (light from stars and planets that reaches earth), which is different at every moment depending on the bodies in the visible sky, may then be correlated with our our DNA responds and our cells begin to develop? Even in the womb we are exposed to some filtered natural light, but the day of our birth - the day when we first experience raw natural light - must have a significant impact on our development!

If you are an astrological skeptic, I highly recommend Antero Ali's book Angel Tech: A Modern Shaman's Guide to Reality Selection. Using his techniques gave me a much deeper understanding of chart-casting, a whole new view on my personal development and my relationships, a greater understanding of my husband and some excellent insight into our wedding plans!

In particular for relationships, pay attention to the placement of Venus (The Magnetic Force: how we attract love, beauty and art to ourselves, as well as our sociability & relating style) and Mars (The Motivating Force: how action is initiated through the basic drive, urge for power and sexual instinct).

If you have any questions about how to interpret your Mars & Venus placements / aspects, leave a comment or send me an email - bexandBigO@gmail.com

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Go Topless Day

I live in a country where the court system has already agreed that women have the right to be topless in public spaces. On August 22, 2010 women from around the US will be protesting for their right to do the same, by doing it!

Aside from the occasional foray to a nude beach and some lovely naked drumming and dancing at the usual summer festivals, I don't exercise my right to be topless in public. I don't even go in to my backyard topless, usually, for fear of surprising the gentle old man next door.

This year on August 22, in support of my American sisters still fighting for their rights, I am going to find an reason to be topless in public and I hope you will too!

Join our events page on Facebook: Go Topless Day!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Next Sexual Revolution

Dare to love differently! That is our slogan and our dream, that those who yearn for different love, for a love that is perhaps strange and unknown or secret and hidden, we will dare to come out of our shell and live our lives as we see fit!

Polyamourists, pansexuals, powerplayers, kinksters, swingers, Masters and slaves, Dommes and subs, tops and bottoms, Priestesses and whores, shamans and ordeal facilitators, courtesans and quadishti, dancers and dakini - we are sacred sex, and sacred sex is for everyone!

This blog is dedicated to all things sex, all things that can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves and each other, to better sex and better love!